


Rouge

by Actually_Crowley



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, Dresses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Actually_Crowley/pseuds/Actually_Crowley
Summary: Newton has picked their costumes for Halloween this year.  The next step is convincing Hermann that this is a good idea.





	Rouge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WaldosAkimbo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaldosAkimbo/gifts).



> Inspired by geniusbee's art of Hermann as Morticia Addams from months ago because I do not know how to budget my time or attention span. C:

Hermann felt like a fool.

He was sat on Newton’s bed with his posture tight, and a white knuckle grip on the cane laid across his lap. His usual attire had been replaced by a thin, dark slip of fabric that he’d been convinced was a dress, length to the floor, and it did absolutely nothing to hide the sharp angles of his body. The cut of the dress was low and dipped past his collar bones, and his back was completely open. He felt exposed and cold, he knew he looked ridiculous, and he also knew with a measure of grief that this humiliation was not over.

Newton was digging through a make-up bag as he sat in a chair in front of Hermann, apparently oblivious to Hermann’s deep discomfort.

The other man had convinced him a month ago to attend a Halloween function set up by Tendo in couple’s costumes. He’d not told him who they would be, but Hermann, trusting that Newton wasn’t going to go too far out of the box or make him uncomfortable, allowed it to be a secret.

When he was finally shown the dress he would be wearing, he’d recoiled and nearly walked back out of the room. Newton steered him back inside and begged him to try. ‘ _Please just try it on. I swear if you don’t like it, you can change out of it, and we’ll just go as each other instead._ ’

And now he felt like an idiot-- a little boy in his sister’s dress being chastised by his father. His gaze was on his lap and his twisting hands and did not move.

”-and so you owe me for getting Sasha and Aleksis to even let me borrow this, by the way. They wouldn’t give it to me without me trying a lipstick first, but like, jokes on them, I look fucking fantastic in red.” Newton went quiet (after god knows how long speaking), and Hermann could feel his eyes on him. “Shit, Hermann, you look like I’m about to walk you to the gallows. You okay?”

Hermann felt Newton’s hand on his cheek, and he finally lifted his eyes. “I’m just-” ‘Uncomfortable’ would be a good word here, but it wasn’t really the word he was looking for. _Afraid_ suited him better. The dress, as awkward as he knew he looked in the thing, was very comfortable, and he’d happily lounge in it in secret if he was allowed the chance. But showing anyone else? The judgmental eyes that were dark like his own loomed in the back of his memory. ”-Uncomfortable.” He used the word anyway. Anything else implied too many things he wasn’t willing to admit.

He wasn’t _ready_ to admit that this felt rather nice.

Newton’s face was one of concern. “Do... you wanna change? You haven’t even seen it on you yet.”

Hermann gave a weighty sigh. “I don’t understand why you thought this would be a good look for me, honestly.”

“Uh, because it is,” Newton scoffed. “See, that’s what I mean, you’ve gotta see it on you before you make any calls, come on.” Newton stood from his chair, lobbing the make-up bag unceremoniously onto his bed. He held his hands out for Hermann to take. “Up, up.”

“Newton-“

“I’m serious, dude, I will bridal carry you if you don’t get up.”

Hermann dropped his gaze with another sigh. He peered back up at Newton, who was the picture of encouragement, even with his hair combed with a stupid part in the center and that silly, tiny mustache he’d been growing for a week. The striped suit and little bow tie was nice as well, and the whole get-up was probably exactly what the crowd was expecting from someone like Newton.

They would never have expected this from Hermann.

He bit his lip and set his cane aside, taking Newton’s hands and letting himself be pulled to stand. Newton walked him over to his full-length mirror, taking the place of Hermann’s cane to assist him, and only moved away once Hermann was in front of it. He gestured broadly at him. “Ta-daaah!~”

Hermann could barely look at himself. The black dress clung _everywhere_ and accentuated every bony protrusion in his body that he usually took great care to hide. His chest was the same pale as his long neck and face, and the deep plunge of the collar made that neck look even longer. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze to the floor.

God, he loved it. He loved every moment he was spending in this costume, but he could already feel the eyes on him. They hadn’t even left Newton’s room, but he could just tell that all of the Shatterdome was there, whispering, belittling, denouncing him with every breath he took-- every rise of his now noticeable ribcage.

He knew Newton had been smiling when he’d planted Hermann before the mirror, but when Newton came back into view, the smile was gone. “Hermann, where are you in that beautiful head of yours? Talk to me.”

Hermann pressed his lips tightly together and covered his mouth. ”...I don’t think I can do this.”

Newton nodded without hesitation and took hold of Hermann’s shoulders. “Okay. Okay, it’s cool. I’m sorry I surprised you with this, I should’ve... I should’ve thought about how you’d feel having to be in a dress. I’m sure I can take it back-“

“No-!” Hermann flinched at his own sudden, harsh voice. He went pink and hunched his thin shoulders. “I-... It isn’t awful, I just... Per-Perhaps this could be something we just enjoy on our own? You needn’t return it.”

Newton’s face blanked. His eyes narrowed as if he was solving a puzzle in his head. “Wait, so you... You like it?”

Hermann ducked his head in the shame he knew was coming. “It-... It isn’t unpleasant, I just don’t think this is something I need to be wearing in public. It isn’t proper.”

Newton’s eyes narrowed further. ”... _Proper?_ Herms, this is a Halloween party. Nobody’s gonna be proper, that’s the point.”

Hermann gave a frustrated huff. “ _No,_ but I ought to not dress in something that makes me look so-... _so-_...” Hideous? The word danced on his tongue the same way it spilled callously from his father’s lips decades ago. ‘ _Take that hideous thing off and dress proper!_ ’

“Gorgeous?”

The word threw off Hermann’s train of thought. He lifted his eyes to Newton and found him looking incredulous. Hermann squinted back at him. “That isn’t the word I would use.”

“Sure is the one I’d use,” Newton said. “If you like it, your defense to not wanting to wear this out had better be ‘Newton, I’m afraid I’ll be too attractive and someone will try to snatch me away from you.’”

Hermann gave a dismissive snort and rolled his eyes, and when they landed back on Newton, he looked down right _offended_.

“Oh hell no. No, no. Okay, reroute.” Newt dipped out of the way of the mirror and spun Hermann to look at it again. “Tell me you see how fucking amazing you look in this.”

Hermann forced himself to take it all in again, but he didn’t feel any better. “You’re only saying that as my boyfriend and not as an objective observation.”

Newton groaned. “Okay, first of all, I’m gonna need you to say that boyfriend part again into my recorder because I need proof you actually used that word. Secondly, _fuck_ that noise, you’re currently the hottest fucking thing in this ‘dome.”

“ _Newton-_ ”

“Don’t ‘Newton’ me! I’m serious, okay, listen, _look._ ”

“I am looking! I see a gangly man turning something pretty into something... something awkward. And unattractive.”

“Are we looking at the same mirror?”

“Yes! And I’m not suited for a dress!”

“Who the fuck says!?”

“ _My father!_ ” Hermann shouted louder than he’d meant to. Then he turned away and limped back to the bed, sitting heavily on it and grabbing his cane to ground himself. He hadn’t meant to say it. Saying it aloud invited questions, and Newton, ever the good scientist, loved to ask questions.

Newton let there be blissful silence for a minute or two before he sat and sidled up to Hermann, bringing a hand to the small of his back. “You’ve worn dresses before this.” It was a statement. He clearly wanted it validated, but it wasn’t a question.

Hermann didn’t answer. He stared at Newton’s duvet like it was the most interesting thing in the room and nursed his lip. “I’m not going to bother you with this, Newton. We can just go as each other, as you said.” He lifted a hand to pull the shoulder of the dress off.

Newton pushed his hand away. “No. Leave it on.”

Hermann inhaled slowly through his nose. “Newt-“

“What happened?” And there was the question.

Hermann turned to Newton with exhaustion in his eyes. “It’s nothing. I was... I was _ten,_ it isn’t a big deal.”

“You just called yourself unattractive. In my presence.” Newton, even in his most serious of moments, was still trying to find the humour. The laughter. “How dare you, for the record, even accidentally imply that I have no taste.”

Hermann snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yes, because that was ever a question.”

Newton didn’t rise to the challenge. “What happened, Herms?”

Hermann studied his face and found no malice. There was no judgment, there was no hint of sarcasm or amusement. He wasn’t waiting for something to hold over Hermann. He wanted to help. Newton continued, despite Hermann’s best efforts, to be the perfect boyfriend without even trying. What on earth had Hermann done to deserve him?

He took a soft breath and leaned forward, dropping his forehead to Newton’s and closing his eyes. “I ‘borrowed’ an old dress of Karla’s once when I was a boy. Father caught me in it and... didn’t exactly have nice things to say.”

Newton scoffed, audibly furious. “Fantastic. Add that to my ever-growing list of reasons I might actually punch that man when I meet him.”

Hermann shook his head. “He was right, Newton, I look hideous in the thing...”

“I can’t believe you’ve got the nerve to call _me_ nonobjective.” Newton pulled away and stood, pulling Hermann after him. “Some dick from the seventies with a stick up his ass raises his children to be old-fashioned and is unwilling to let them break gender roles. He’s statistically bigoted and average for his time, and he’s clearly not about that ‘making reasonable decisions’ nonsense if that fucking wall’s got anything to say about it.”

“Honestly-“

“I’m serious! And I’m not done. Because I am gonna spend all night with you until you see what I see. I don’t care if we miss the party.” Newt pulled him in at the waist and ran his hands up Hermann’s bare (and chilly) back. “We’re not leaving until you see how beautiful you are. _Cara Mia._ ” Newton grinned.

Hermann gave a frustrated grumble, but he smiled back anyway, letting himself be pulled in. His arms rose on their own and wrapped around Newton’s neck. “You have your work cut out for you, Newton.”

When Newton found a podium to shout from, there was nothing short of agreeing with him simply to shut him up that would bring him back down. Hermann loved that about him, but in moments like this, when all Hermann wanted to do was curl up in bed and pretend the world and all its many, monster-shaped problems didn’t exist, it was exhausting. Newton seemed to have enough energy for them both as he poorly waltzed them across the room. As he pranced them around, he rested his nose on Hermann’s exposed collarbone. “How’s it feel?”

Hermann took note that Newton held him aloft so putting pressure on his bad leg didn’t twinge. He also knew that wasn’t what Newton meant.

He felt the dress move and pull along his skin in a way that made him feel exposed, but also powerful and safe. He dared to allow himself to hold that smile and mean it as he glanced downward at the both of them. Newton’s dark suit pressed against the thin, black fabric of the dress, and if Hermann focused, he could feel every button of his blazer and every fold in the fabric on those arms. The dress hugged his thin frame almost as closely as Newton did, and now that was a comparison he’d never be able to get out of his head. Dresses would now bring thoughts of Newton’s arms. Hermann didn’t find that he minded the conditioning; it was a bright contrast to the booming voice of his normally softly disappointed father.

‘ _What in god’s name are you doing!?_ ’

Hermann’s easy movements stuttered as he flinched. The smile slipped away, and he glanced over toward the mirror on the wall. His shoulders hunched at the sight of his form, even if, for a fleeting moment, he was starting to believe Newton’s words. All of that left as soon as his anxiety settled back in. “I-...”

“No. No, I saw that. Stop that.” Newton pulled back and tilted Hermann’s chin toward him, keeping his other hand securely on the small of Hermann’s back. “Stop listening to that asshole when he’s not even here.”

“I look like some awkward little boy in his sister’s clothes, Newton...”

“Bullshit. You look like a man rocking what he’s got in a dress that just so happens to show you off perfectly.” Newton leaned away and spun Hermann back toward the mirror. “Look at you, Hermann.”

“I _am._ ”

“Not with your own damn eyes, you’re not!” Newton sighed and rubbed his chin. “All right, close ‘em.”

“Would you-“

“No. Close your eyes. Keep them closed,” Newt demanded. Hermann stared back at him in defiance. Then, with a huff, he shut his eyes. “Good. Keep thinking about how that dress feels, and stop thinking about how it looks.” Newton’s voice was moving about the room, and Hermann heard the bed creak.

“What are you doing?” Hermann asked.

Newton grunted and the bed creaked again. He heard a rattling and the sound of a zipper opening and closing. “Completing the look!” His steps made his way back to Hermann, and he cupped the side of his face. “Not that you need it, because I’m ready to be massively inappropriate with you in public as it is. But maybe it’ll get you out of this mindset.”

Before Hermann could argue, a small brush smoothed over his eyelid, and he instinctively held completely still. It was a strange reaction for him to have for all of two seconds before he realised it was familiar.

‘ _Hold still, Hermann. I don’t want to poke your eye out._ ’

It had been a year or two after the dress incident, but Karla had snuck Hermann into her room under the guise of ‘testing make-up shades’ on him because the two of them had always been similar in the face. They’d spent several quiet hours that night wearing different shades of eyeshadow, comparing and contrasting, giving pros and cons of each colour. They’d try lipsticks, with Karla in a soft pink, and Hermann in a bronze shade. They even tried a blush once, but they both decided that they could do without. At the end of the night, Karla made sure to wipe away every trace of make-up from his face so their father wouldn’t see. Then she kissed his forehead and sent him to bed with a book and a lie in case he was caught. ‘ _Karla was reading to me, father. We lost track of time._ ’

Newton was bringing back all kinds of memories today.

The eyeshadow palette clicked closed, and Hermann heard it hit the bed with a soft pat. Then Newton took careful hold of his chin again. The next thing to touch his lips was not the lipstick like he was expecting, but Newton’s own mouth, soft and pliant. He pulled away, and Hermann’s eyes fluttered open, half-lidded, to stare down into Newton’s bright eyes.

Newton smirked at him. “Didn’t say you could open yet. Just wanted a kiss now so I don’t mess up your lipstick later.”

Hermann pouted and closed his eyes again. “I’m quite happy just continuing that course of action, you know.”

“Not until you admit that you’re pretty.”

“I’m not going to admit that.”

“Then pick some synonym you like better, man. Gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, _hot_ , I’m not picky. You abuse a thesaurus every time you speak, I know you’ve got something.” Newton’s thumb ran along his bottom lip. “Now shut up a minute and open your mouth.”

Hermann laughed and obliged. He kept his face lax as Newton carefully drew the lipstick over his lips. In the dark behind his eyelids, he saw Karla’s face, soft and encouraging, beaming at him-- a memory he’d thought he lost. ‘ _Who gave you the right to look better in my lipstick than me?_ ’ She had laughed.

The lipstick lifted away and Newton was silent. When Hermann opened his eyes again, he found Newton still there, inches away, mouth agape, and eyes wide. He ran his thumb along Hermann’s cheekbone, cupping his hand behind his neck. ”...Holy shit, Hermann.”

”...What is it?” Hermann managed, voice hushed.

Newton only beamed at him, answering not with words, but by stepping out of the way and letting Hermann see himself in the mirror again.

He watched his breath hitch in his throat and still his chest. There was a new word in his head about how he looked, but he wasn’t sure it was right to say it.

The shadow was a dark, smoky eye he had no idea Newton knew how to execute, and the colour on his lips was a deep, dark, wine red, a stark contrast against the pale of his skin. Newton’s calming gestures and soft ministrations had slowly settled his shoulders back, relaxed, and lengthened his neck in a pleasing way. In the few seconds after taking in Newton’s reaction and then seeing himself, Hermann felt elegant. He felt classy.

He felt powerful.

His father’s voice boomed in his head, but it quaked under Hermann’s darkened stare and shriveled at the harsh line of his mouth. He paced carefully to the mirror and rested his hand against the glass.

Newton hovered not far behind. “Hermann?” He reached out and took Hermann’s free hand, bringing it to his lips in a soft, rousing kiss. “Where’s your head at right now?”

Hermann peered at him through the mirror. Newton’s face was still in awe of Hermann, and he was looking at him with all of the love in the world. He turned back to Newton and held his stare for a few, peaceful seconds. God, he was so in love with this man, it was ridiculous. “I have some bad news for you, Newton.”

Newton’s face saddened. ”...You don’t like it...?”

“No, it isn’t that,” Hermann corrected. “I just feel I should warn you that I’m going to mess up this lipstick.”

Before Newton had the chance to speak, Hermann dove in and grasped his head, yanking him forward into a hungry kiss.. Newton didn’t seem to mind ruining his own handiwork as he leaned in and matched Hermann’s kisses with his own, tongue flicking forward and coaxing Hermann’s to come out and play. Newton’s hands slid behind him to his back, warm against the bare skin there against the chilled air of the room. As Newton tilted his face to kiss deeper and harder, he pulled Hermann away from the mirror. He walked Hermann backward, keeping his weight off his leg, and leaned him against the metal wall--

Hermann yelped and flinched into Newton. Newton jumped back, eyes wide, and glasses askew. “Ah, what, what!?”

Hermann shivered and laughed. “The wall is _freezing._ ”

Newton’s smile returned. “Right,” He inched back, standing just far enough away to unbutton his blazer and shuffle it off. He then swung it behind Hermann and flipped it up over his barely covered shoulders, holding the collar and grinning with already wine stained lips. “Better?”

Hermann shivered for an entirely different reason as Newton’s leftover heat sank into him. He beamed brightly and leaned back down to kiss him again. “Much.”

Newton’s grin widened against his lips, and he happily pulled Hermann against him again, letting his fingers press into those hips through the thin fabric. Hermann wanted him to grip harder-- wanted him to leave bruises that he’d find later that night and kiss as an apology. Hermann gripped the vest still on Newton and let his hands crawl their way back to Newton’s head. His blunt nails scratched little trails through Newton’s slicked down hair and sent shivers through him that Hermann could feel.

Newton pulled back and panted heavily against Hermann’s ruined lipstick. “Starting to-... to think... ya know, maybe we should stay in.”

“Absolutely not.” Hermann said, narrowing his eyes. “You did all this hard work, why on earth wouldn’t you want to show me off?”

Newton whined and opened his mouth to complain-- then he froze. “Wait. Wait!” He beamed at him. “You- Ha! Oh, you gotta say it. Herms, you gotta tell me, come on, you don’t get a free pass just because you’re good at distracting me!” He reached up to Hermann’s face and ran his thumb along his smudged lips. “How do you feel?”

Hermann laughed at Newt’s exuberance and leaned into his hand. “I feel amazing, Newton.” He brushed his nose against Newton’s and smiled without trying. ”...Thank you.”

Newton grinned and only pulled away to tug Hermann back to sit on the bed. “All right, sit, sit, lemme fix you up.” He dug through the bag and searched out some make-up wipes, cleaning them both of lipstick before settling back down and reapplying the colour to Hermann’s lips.

As they gazed at each other, he watched Newton’s face go through a flurry of emotions with some amusement. It started with a look like he wanted to mess up that lipstick again, ran through several levels of devouring Hermann with his eyes, and then landed on disappointment when he realised that he couldn’t kiss him again because they had to leave. Hermann felt like a delicacy.

He laughed at Newton and stood up, taking his cane with him this time. He was pleased to see that the addition of the cane did nothing to take away the elegance of the look, and Newton was quick to stand and take his other arm. “You sure you’re ready to go out there?” Newton asked. “I know I wanna show you off, but if you’re just doing this to make me happy-“

“No, darling. I’m ready.”

Newton smiled. “Good. Because you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” They approached the door, and Newton tugged it open, ready to lead the way.

Hermann pulled him to a stop. “One moment,” He said, glancing at him. “I think you’re missing something.” He pulled the blazer off his shoulders and returned it to Newton, letting him pull his arms through the sleeves on his own. Hermann buttoned the blazer back up for him, ignoring the chill that settled back in his bones, because he knew Newton would be keeping him warm all night.

Newton tugged the blazer straight and puffed out his chest. “Whadya think? Am I acceptable?” He held his arms out.

Hermann tilted his head. ”...No. No, I feel there’s still something amiss, but I can’t seem to put my finger on it-” He grinned. “Ah, yes.” Without any warning, he took a soft step toward Newton and slid his hands up his chest, leaning down and zeroing a kiss right on Newton’s throat, just under his jaw. He heard, and felt, Newton’s breath leave him in a sudden gasp. He lingered long enough to let the lipstick do its work, and then he pulled away. Newton looked dizzy and exhilarated all at once. Hermann smirked at him, admiring the deep red lip print he’d left behind, and nodded. “Much better. You were absolutely right, Newton, you do look _stunning_ in red.”

Newton had no words for him now. They’d probably come out later that night when these outfits came flying off, but for the moment, he looked at Hermann like he was the most beautiful, ethereal being on the planet. The look was so visceral, Hermann found himself believing him.

He took a step toward the open door and turned back to Newton with a heavy look in his eyes. “Are you coming? ... _Mon cher?_ ”

Newt grabbed his chest over his heart. “Keep talking to me like that, and it sure as hell won’t be long.” Still, Newton hurried to Hermann’s side and took his arm, pressing a hard kiss to the back of his hand, already perfectly in character. “Shall we?”

Hermann glowed. “We shall.”

~

**Author's Note:**

> You know the Kaidonovskys let him keep that lipstick.
> 
> Hermann and Newton are dressed as Morticia and Gomez Addams, respectively, and they're about to win whatever prize the 'dome has come up with for 'Best Dressed'.
> 
> I'm gifting this officially to WaldosAkimbo, who really needs more Hermann in dresses. Thank you for existing, and sorry this was late!
> 
> Special thanks to basilintime for encouraging me to hurry the hell up and finish this LOL


End file.
